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What Kind of Parent Are You?

Written by Itziar Madera, Educational Specialist at Lipa

September 27, 2017

Educating a child is not easy. As teachers and parents we often second guess ourselves, asking, is this method right or wrong? Will this help or harm my child? How do I know which pedagogy or method is the best?

To answer these questions, we first need to reflect and be critical with ourselves. Second, we need to have patience, empathy, and persistence. Everything that a child sees in their first years will influence them in their future development and personality. We aren’t just talking about a school education, but also the education we give kids at home, which is even more relevant.

Continue reading . . .


Nowadays everyone is talking about being the best parent and being involved in their kids’ education, determining educational styles, and so on. In this post we are going to show and explain 4 different types of parenting styles and how it could impact our kids.

You can be an authoritarian, democratic, permissive, or negligent parent, or even a combination of them. Which style are you? Which style do you think is the best? Which style are you trying to be?

Authoritarian Parent

This type of parent establishes a unidirectional and closed communication system: parents give orders without explanations and restrict the autonomy of their kids, who are usually inhibited. The use of punishments, threats, and prohibitions is habitual in a continuous way and without any reasoning. It is also characterized by holding your children to high expectations. Authoritarian parents are usually not receptive to their child’s needs and they don’t change their discipline techniques according to the context, age, or other variables.

Possible consequences for kids:

      Low self-esteem, personal autonomy, creativity, and social competence.

      Children may show feelings of frustration or guilt at not being able to fulfill their parents’ wishes.

      They may be anxious about their parents’ emotional distancing.

      When inhibited, children tend to conform and submit. They are often passive and shy and are anxious to gain approval from others.

      When older, will likely imitate the paternal style and become authoritarian as well.

Democratic or Assertive Parent

These parents put all their focus on their children. Parents explain to their children the reasons for setting rules, they acknowledge and respect their individuality and rights, negotiate through verbal exchanges, and make decisions together with them, trying to encourage positive behaviors and inhibit the inappropriate ones. Relations between parents and children are presided over by mutual respect, cooperation, and reciprocal duties. Conflicts tend to be infrequent and mild.

Possible consequences for kids:

      They develop a sense of responsibility and assume the consequences of their actions.

      They acquire social competence and interact easily.

      Attitudes of cooperation, decision making, and respect for rules and teamwork skills are observed.

      The development of a realistic and positive self-concept that translates into a high level of self-esteem and self-confidence.

      Increased motivation to succeed, which is manifested in better school grades.

Permissive Parent

This parenting style involves a lot of tolerance. Parental control is very relaxed and expectations are held very low. The parents easily accede to the wishes of the little ones and they are tolerant to the expression of impulses like anger or aggressiveness. They are often overprotective in order to prevent the children from facing the difficulties of life, so the rules can be very stringent.

Possible consequences for kids:

      They lack self-control of their own impulses and put their own desires and needs before those of other people.

      They tend to be egocentric, dependent, have difficulty putting in effort, which translates into low school achievement.

      They usually present high levels of self-esteem and self-confidence.

Negligent Parent  

The characteristics of this type of parents are low parental expectations and the abdication of family and educational responsibility. They show a lack of sensitivity and involvement in regards to the needs of their children, without effective expression or communication. Parents often give up their activities as such, especially when they interfere with their individual interests.

Possible consequences for kids:

      They show a low sense of personal effort and low school achievement.

      Children develop a negative self-concept and serious lack of self-confidence and self-responsibility.

      They have a greater predisposition to suffer from psychological disorders and serious deviations of behavior.

Now, after reading this, how do you feel about how you are as a parent? Do you think you are doing great? Or do you think you might want to change something?

We just want to create an awareness that parents should always understand that we are the reason our children act a certain way. Parents set the example and the children always follow it. We should therefore always make sure to set a positive example.

Further reading: